THE PERFECT FUCKING GIFT
Looking for an unforgettable fucking gift? Don’t settle for a shitty sweater or cheap booze. You’re fucking better than that! Get your shit together and blow them away with some FUCKING BALLOONS. (See what we did there?)
FUCKING EASY TO USE
No matter how drunk and/or high on crack, meth or crackmeth you may be, you’ll still manage to blow them up (another one. Killing it).
*We don't encourage intake of illigal subtances. But we assume you do.
Can I order a single design?
No, you can’t. One order contains all 12 designs. The reason we decided to do it this way is that we are high as fuck and would mess up the counting.
Do you ship everywhere?
Right fucking now we're only shipping in the US and A. If you fuckers order enough balloons we might expand.
Why so many f-bombs?
FUCK YOU! That's why.
What gas should I use for them to float.
(Insert fart joke here)
Helium! Didn't pay attention in school, did you?